I'll be back

At Jein's place now actually...
Did the Art project..
Grrrr...
I guess I'm going to strive hard to ace art, I can't afford to get stereotyped and stuff again just because of it...
Anyhow, I'm not going to blog for quite a while people...
Ishhhhh..
I guess by then, I'm going to have a lot of stuffs to say already...
Uhm...
Comp's down anyway...
Long story, I don't wish to elaborate about it...
Makes me sad. :(
Hahahahaha.
Whatev.
I'm going to stop right here.
Perhaps..
I''m going to ask Jein to take care of my baby..
I know Jein will be more than willing.
Hahahahaha.


With lots of love.
Angelika
xxx

fuming!!!!!!!!

Just what do you want, person?
Ito yan oh, hindi naman na tayo eh, bakit nagpapaepal ka pa?
Naaasar kaya ako sa'yo.
I don't know what's up with you.
Grrrrrrrr.
Whatever you're doing, stop it will you?
You're provoking meeeeeeeeeee.

Asar asar asar.
Bahala ka sa buhay mo!

You're so genre-ish

[Jein here, blogging for Ms DDG!]

Didn't get to blog yesterday, suck.
Blogspot is acting like a VIP, I wonder what's up with that.
Anyway, yesterday...
Shaqdah went berserk, people.
It was scary and extremely hilarious at the same time.
Scary was italisized, because.. Shaqdah went insane.
Omg, I've been making a fool out of that situation like nobody's business man.
Anyhow, I think that's the most significant happening.
Hahahahaha.
Oh yeah, Jein was absent.
I missed her like so much!!!!

So, today...
Actually nothing much had happened...
After gazillion years Haikal finally came back to school.
The fella has a lot of catching up to do.
Good luck mate.

I think that's it.
I need to sleep already.
Grrrr.

Selamat malam kawan-kawan.

xoxo
Angelika&Jein

you don't really care at all

Oh well, I think I'm going to start a new private blog.
Perhaps, so I can type out stuffs I can't really type here.
I think yeah, that would be good.
In some sort.
Hahaha, anyway, there won't be too many secrets...
If it's toooooooo personal then I shall spill it all out there.
If it's just personal, this would be the blog I'm using.
Anyhow, I won't ignore this blog. NEVER.
This blog has been with me all these while, so I'm going to stick with it.. and will update, perhaps EVERYDAY.
Yeah yeah..
I think I shall create a private blog then... after this post.
Lol.

So today, the morality question that was asked during church session, is still lingering within me.
It's hard to answer, honestly.
Especially, when you consider REALITY very well.
The situation would be this, let's say you're a woman who's having a baby, blah blah, the doctor told you that the baby wouldn't be normal, wouldn't live a normal life at all.. Would you consider abortion?
Easy to answer? At first glance, maybe.
My answer was "just keep the baby, everybody has the right to live..." . Trues isn't it?
However, would you be able to bear seeing your child grow up living in ridicule, going through pain all through his life, and so on and so forth...
Yeah, some people would say such things as, "just keep the baby, because he or she is God's blessing", "Keep it, God gave him or her for a reason" and a lot more reasons.(like me)
I don't know which side am I in anyway, but I think the baby should live, at least give him or her some chance to feel life.
However, the life wouldn't be a normal life, it would be a painful journey.

Tsk.
I think I shall not create the private blog today, I lost the mood suddenly.
:D

xoxo

Missing (missing) you

(Remember how I laughed because of your face in this photo? Imy)

For the first time, I went somewhere, where I'm alone.
It was weird yet worthwhile.
Oh yeah, I went to church alone. Geeeeeeeeee, alone.
However, like what I said, it was all worthwhile. -.-
Nothing really goes through me whenever I have somebody to accompany me.

Anyway, today, the gospel and all things were really digested and everything. (cause I'm alone)
I did the reflections and such yesterday.
So, I shall just leave that part alone.

Anyhow, like what I said, I was alone, right?
And whenever I'm alone I'd ponder and everything. (who knows I'm like that? Raise your hand :P)
On my way home...
Despite having Black Eyed Peas as my background, the thought was just too strong. (or was it just my feelings?)
I feel like doing something I shall not do or even think about. (Yes, again.)
The ugly part of pondering.
Nevertheless, I am NOT trying to consider that thing.
..Or, perhaps I'm just going to watch how would things go first.
:D
Keeping my fingers crossed.


xoxo

meet me halfway

Session today really got me thinking.

It made me think about situations an average kid wouldn't give a hoot about.

What's really bothering me is freewill.

I don't know why, but I don't understand why is there such things as "freewill"...while...

Oh well, I shall not talk about this, cause this may bore you readers. Whatev.

No happenings.

Awwww, I want a text-mate!

Damn, I want one who is up to my standards. LOL.

Anyhow, I have yet to return Gabriel his bible, I was thinking of giving it back to him just now but he was nowhere in sight.

Damn.

I hope I can return it to him by tomorrow, or else, I'd keep it. lol.

Get back

I miss the outings, the laughters, the secrets we shared.

I miss my old clique.

The way we were like.

An ideal group, yes that's what we were like.

The group which seemed perfect to my eyes.

Invincible, yes we were.

We were cause it seems like we are drifting apart now.

Situations are manipulating us, instead of the other way round.

My friend, I'm sorry.

I know nothing's going to change the story...

However, can you seek forgiveness in your heart,

And perhaps, let's start again from the start?

I know I've betrayed you, in some way...

However, can you please just stay?

You're one of the greatest I ever had

I can't afford to lose you just like that.

Please friend, I beg you.. Please, hold on tight.

I don't know whether you'd still forgive.

But please, try?

For the sake of the memories we once had.

Back from the start.

The outings, the laughters, the secrets we shared.

We know there's more than just that.

xoxo

what keeps me going

Lol, and this is for my 200.
Unfortunately I have nothing to talk about.
I shall not reminisce, not in the mood for it.
Church later on, yeah yeah.
I haven't done the morality work thingo.
-.-


xoxo

one more

This is my 199th post so one more then it's going to be 200 posts! Yay!
Anyway, today's been rather plain. I've got nothing much to say.
Oy, DTE guy.. I miss you leh. Lol.
I miss you.
Gee.
Whatev.

xoxo

PS
high tops, high tops I love you. OMG.

i'm your girl

So, I started a day with a prayer. Literally.
Day went on as per normal.
Haikal and Vanessa didn't come to school today, both of them are sick.
Get well both of you, I miss the both of you like for real.
Anyway, things got a pinch bit better(?)
Sorta.
Mr. Impossible... Uh, I have no things to say already.
Sooner or later I'll let go, I swear.
Ooooooooh.
I guess that's for today.

To Shaqdah bebe,
Since you want things this way, I'll leave it all to you.
I hope you'll be happy with whatever decision you've made.
Like, what I said just now, I'd always be right here for you, like what you did to me when I needed a somebody so bad.
Girl, all I want you to be is happy, so I'm really hoping that you've made the right decision.
I don't know what to say here. I guess, I've already told you every mushy thing I need to say when we were in the classroom just now.
Ily, and like what I said to Vanessa, I got your back.
xoxo

still going on

It's been a month my dearest person, remember?
Exactly one month.
I can't help but reminisce still.
Everytime I reminisce water works would start.
Remember how you called me that time when mom was hospitalized?
When I was dead worried that I cried.
The moment I told you I am crying you called me straight away.
I'd never forget that moment, you cared for me like nobody did.
I miss the way you care for me.
I really do.
Don't you?

imy

I miss you.

Mixed just like a salad

Nothing's getting better, perhaps I think some stuffs are getting worse.
How I wish I can wake up tomorrow having my old group back. Nothing else, but the group. Maybe.
I wonder what I've done to have myself (and my friends) ended up in this kind of situation.
Everything hurts, but I just smile. We just smile.
I still laugh, when something is funny. We still laugh
However, behind every smile is the truth. Cliche much.
Nothing would make things better. Still.
Nothing can make me smile like how I used to smile. Like how I used to be so happy.

Stephen is still ignoring us.
Salina and Tiara are fighting, Tiara's pissed with Salina like big time.
Vanessa is feeling miserable. Super.
I am feeling miserable.
Tiara is feeling miserable.
Fitra is feeling miserable.
In fact, I guess everybody is.
To top it all off, some blabbermouth said we're the "step" kind of group.
I can't be bothered with you blabbermouth.

Whatever.

I am wondering, will this obstacle bring us closer... or the other way round?
I hope our friendship is strong enough to get over this thing.
I can't afford to lose you guys.
Losing a somebody feels painful enough.
Please, I beg you guys... Hold on tight.

Vanessa bebe,
I don't really know what to say.
I'm not so good with comforting people, I guess.
And, yes the feeling of being abandoned sucks.
However, you'll get over everything soon.
Just have a proper mindset about everything, do whatever you want to do.
Stay if you want to, walk off if you can't take things anymore.
Whatever happens, I'm here, I got your back.
Cry out loud if you want to, if that will make you feel better.
But please don't do it infront of me. It kills, I swear.
Just open your heart to everything girl, everything would be better.

First few days you'll feel empty, yes.. I know.
That's why there's such things called as friends.
Yeah, I know it's different, the feeling would be different.
You wouldn't feel as if you're belonged and stuff.
Yeah, I'm still feeling that way, but nothing will help us if we can't help ourselves.
Pick yourself up and start over again.
I repeat, I got your back.
I'm with you.
ily.

xoxo

DML

[Click on the photo, to see how perfect down memory lane is]

Every person in the group could be saying, I hope this and that blah blah.
I should have done this and that blah blah.
Everybody knows, we couldn't turn back the time and redo whatever we've done.
To correct every mistake that we saw coming.
And prevent a tragedy from happening.
If I am granted with one wish, I wouldn't be wishing for world peace.
I would wish for everything I once had and loved dearly to be mine again.
Yes, it maybe or IS selfish.
But I swear that's what I ONLY wish for, I can replace it with every little thing I have that seems so important to me.
However, nothing is so important to me, compared to my family and what my life WAS.
Yes, everybody has their own ups and downs. Unfortunately, I'm having my downs...all the way.
And unfortunately, there's nobody for me to lean on to except for my friends. Just my friends.
Down memory lane-"where everything is perfect" That's the only place where I want to be. And I wish where I am now. And I believe that's where I belong.
Yes, it's foolish to live in the past, cause it will NEVER happen again.
However, I won't stop praying or hoping or trusting or expecting or whatever for this thing to end, be back to to its original state.
Perfect.

back at one

I asked Jein to blog for me yesterday, so the whole blog thing was Jein-ish.
Except the words and the whole idea of the post though, cause I texted her what to say and stuff.
Yesterday was awesome.
Like what Jein posted for me, I can relate real well with all the sharing and stuff.
That guy Marcus, he's really really cute.
I guess when God threw away all the cuteness, he caught every single piece.
Lol.
Thanks to the Gabriel guy for letting me use his bible (he gave it to me voluntarily)
Awwww.
Unfortunately, he left the session without taking his bible back.

Today
Went for mass.
I saw the Gabriel guy.
Lol. Cool.
Blah.


xoxo

omg... NOT!

[Jein here! :D posting for Angiie... hehe... so, the following words are from Ms DDG, okay? :D]

Church with Jein today was totally eye-opening.
My conscience was bugged lot of times.
I swear everytime my church mates talk I can relate to it real well.
I swear I'm ecstatic, everytime I'm in that room. Like literally.
Oh well, learned a lot today.. Blah blah.

[And that's the end for what she wants to say. Hehe. Well, she forgot a big thing... WE WENT TO COFFEE BEAN AND I PAID FOR HER HOT CHOCO. I'm so nice... tsk tsk :D]

xoxo,

Angie&Jein

P.S.
I'm so looking forward for the next session.

Sorry

I don't know what's the point of saying sorry.
Pero, Stephen... I'm really sorry.
I know, I didn't tell you everything, though I am knowledgeable about everything.
I just don't want you to get hurt.
I was the closest to you, yet I didn't tell you.
I swear I didn't do it cause I want you to be left in the dark.
I did it, cause I don't want you to get hurt.
Or at least, I don't want to be the person who'll break her bestfriend's heart.
I don't know whether you're still gonna talk to me.
But I beg you, forgive me.

You've been such an amazing friend, and there I was lying to you.
Lying about everything that might cause you a major affliction.
I tried my best to tell you though, but I told myself to just get my ass off the scene.
I didn't prove the whole meaning of friendship thing.
I am sorry.
I don't know whether you're going to forgive me.


Ayaw ko lang kasi na masaktan ka talaga.
Hindi sa ayaw ko na sabihin sa'yo.
Sinabi ko key mommy lahat, sabi nia sabihin ko daw sa'yo.
Pero, hindi ko talaga kaya na ako yung magbreabreak ng bad news sa'yo.
Hindi ko naman akalain na magtu-turn out na ganito 'to.
Sorry.

I swear it's still you.

After the whole fiasco last night, I realized something.
Which gave me this strong desire to do something I shall not.
I'm still making up my mind whether I shall do it.
I am scared of any negative outcome though.

The thing is this.
You....
You should know who you are, exactly.
Yes, if you're reading this.. I MISS YOU, get that?
I miss our little his and hellos.
Our late night conversations.
I miss how your smile melts my heart (cause apparently, you don't even look at me now. right?)
I miss how we used to care for each other.
I miss how we used to wait for one another.
I miss your touch (yeah, sounds gay)
I miss calling you baby.
I miss fighting with you for nothing.
I miss everything.
I miss sitting beside you.
I miss your gay messages.
I miss our gay conversations.
I miss how you made me smile with every little thing you do.
I miss going home with you.
I miss our crissy crossy kinda thing.
I miss sharing drinks with you.
I miss looking forward to school, just because I want to see you.
I miss the adrenaline rush you give me.
I miss the butterflies in my stomach everytime I see you.
I miss saying I love you.
I miss hearing you love me too.
I miss my bill having thousands of numbers of sent messages.
I miss your messages.
I miss your proper messages.
I miss listening to every love song, thinking about US.
I miss the old me, smiling just the very mention of you.
I miss bragging about how perfect you are.
I miss thinking about how awesome you are.
I miss knowing that you care for me.
I miss sleeping with a smile on my face, knowing I'll be with you again tomorrow.
I miss staring at your lovely lovely eyes.
I miss knowing your every move.
I miss my daily dosage of drama.
I miss you calling me, the very moment you think I'm angry.
I miss the old me, ignoring almost everything just to text you.
I miss the old me, having overflowing amount of inspiration.
I miss the way you inspire me.
I miss betting, whether you'd call me or what.
I miss waiting for your message, even I know you've already fallen asleep.
I miss your sexy voice whenever you're sleepy, and I'd beg you to stay with me.
I miss accompanying you to anywhere you want to go.
I miss the times, when you were being gay with your heart-shaped and worm sweeties.
I miss your I love yous.
I miss your smiley faces which makes me really smile.
I miss knowing that you are mine.
I miss knowing I'm yours.
I miss asking permissions to go out, using you as my ultimate excuse.
I miss telling you almost everything.
These three would cut everything short.
I miss me with you.
I miss us.
I miss YOU.
I really do.

I got it all figured out

Had a tiff with my dad just now.
It was no average tiff, I cried. Not that I'm saying it's so weird for me to cry...
I mean, the reason why I cried isn't because we fought.
But because he said something, which made me realize/think/or whatever you call that word, about stuffs that I thought I got over already.
I got really annoyed, and yeah.. broke down.
It was really annoying, I swear.


You,
I love you.

islyvm

Today's been plain.
Ok, I admit.. every day's plain since the term started.
School started being like some sort of a chore to me.
Ok, here's the thing...
I've got a friend, which suddenly became so...different (?)
I don't know what's up with him, like nobody does.
Oh well, I hope he's just happy with whatever he's doing.

Things are so different now.
And I don't like how these things are different.
It ticks me off, big time.
I wish to GET BACK.
Omg, get back-Fitra.
That person kept on singing that get back song, he's out to disturb me... Thank you very much!
I mean to Fitra.
Oh well, I have no comments though.
I... Lol, forget it


Anyway, I wonder why every unfortunate thing that can happen to a person is happening to me currently.
My dad is picking on me like there's no tomorrow.
Everytime he sees me, he'll ask me to study and everything, and will scream (?) at me.
It's downright pathetic.
Whatever.
Family,friends,(another thing I don't think I shall mention).
Is there anything worse than this? Omg, I hope not.
I wish I can get through this...
Whatever.

xoxoxo

deep down under

I'm feeling down practically the whole day.
Nevertheless the awesome bunch never failed me. :)
Speechless and tired.
Blah.

everything but that

Everything was perfect yesterday but the going home part.
I swear it was worse than suicide.
Laughed like mad, camwhored like there's no tomorrow, and did lots of crazy stuff.
The three of us (Haikal, Shaqdah and I) can rule the world, I tell you.
We went to Fish&Co., with a fixed thought that without a doubt we can afford everything (cause Yuan Jun was with us. Lol)
When we went in, Yuan Jun said he won't spend more than $20.
We tried to persuade him, but nothing worked. Gah.
We had no choice but to get ourselves out of the said place, but we don't know how to.
We did something to get ourselves out of the place and it worked, without getting ourselves into hall of shame.
It was very embarrassing though. -.-
Then, from Plaza Sing, we walked walked walked to Cineleisure...
Ended up eating at BK.
Haikal and I made fun of Shaqdah all the way, saying that she's boring and everything.
Omg, I tell you, we laughed like mad. Mad.
Blah blah, went home..
Went home suicidally.

Today
Nothing's been helping me.
I envy my (best) friends.
No further explanations why...
But, if you're curious.. you're very welcome to ask me. Lol.


xoxo

I've got to

"You've got to live life, not think about it. Step into the midst of things, try and fail and learn and stand up again. The question is not whether you will or will not make mistakes - you will. The question is do you want to learn and grow, or do you want to shrink back and be stuck? Take that step you've been avoiding. You can succeed, or you can get feedback that it didn't work, but in either case you are sure to feel alive."

Just for laughs

Lol! Yuan Jun! Surprise!
Classic kind of thing man.
I find this thing real hilarious.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Omg, yes I was talking to Yuan Jun.
Haha.
So here you go buddy, if ever you're wondering how do you look like when you're sleeping.
Tadaaa!
OMG.
Whatever laa.
Lol.

try to find me

My church mate mentioned, not to expect but trust.
I wanted to interject and say "How can you not expect?"
Reality check, everybody does.


How do you expect a person to forget, when you're asking her to forget the best damn moment of her life.
Everybody has their own treasured moments, and I believe... That's the only thing that can last forever. It's kept safely, inside ones heart.
Clicheeeeeeeeeeeeee.


Oh yeah, the church's song is stuck in my mind.
It goes like "...glory to God in the highest and peace to his people on Earth..." Exact same phrase's been playing like some spoilt recorder in my brain.

xoxo

I learned...

Went to church again today, went with Salina. Again.
Coolnessity!
But, it was embarrassing when the couple beside me asked Salina to stop talking.
Even before the whole asking her to stop talking, I was already asking the bitch to stop talking, yet she continued to do so.
Lol.
Then, she went on with how she wants to receive the communion.
I told her, she can't and everything... Lol, silly girl.
Then blah.
Anyway, I'm learning alot of stuffs these past two days...
This will carry on...
:)
I'm so looking forward to next week. :)
Shall understand life further and all.


xoxo

it seemed like forever.

Church today...
It was awesome.
Perhaps it's the start of something new.
This will work out, I got a feeling that everything will.

xoxo

P.S.
Oh yeah, tomorrow's church again.
Yeah yeah, looking forward to it. :)

truth is, imy.

Gooooooood morning!
I literally just got off my bed.
Early, I know...
Ok, here... I'm feeling weird the moment I catch the glimpse of July 3rd.
I don't really know what's up with me these few days.
I mean, I seem fine...I repeat, seem.
I am not upset or something. But there's this tiny feeling inside of me,
It's so tiny that sometimes, I tend to forget and ignore. But that whenever I'm left to ponder, this tiny feeling is no longer tiny.
It's colossal.
It's so big that it manipulates me the moment it gets me.
Perhaps, it's just the missing and everything.
But, It's killing me. Killing me.
I want my old self back! How many times must I say that?
I miss me, I miss you, I miss everything.
Omg, here I go again with these pathetic lines.
No wonder, I've been doing a lot of stuffs these past few days to get my mind off certain... stuffs.
It's cliche, but I can never escape reality... Nobody can, right?

Every song I sing, I swear, It makes me reminisce.


xoxo

P.S.
The song Before The Worst by The Script is a brilliant song.
Read the lyrics if you have to.

All that I've got

Omg, tireeeeeeeeeeeeed!
Usual happenings happened. Vanessa didn't come to school, I miss her. :(
Me and the gang got ourselves scram at around 2(?)
Early right?
Went our own ways and crap.
Elton decided to collect the class shirt.
Blah...
Sent Stephen to Lot1, it's his OJE thing at Mcdee's today.
Lol, if you guys want to see Stephen wiping tabletops and mopping the floor.
Head down to Lot1's Mcdonald's. :)

Went to Queensway then to collect our class shirt.
Blah.
Tiara was so sweet, she bought me a pair of slippers.
I was complaining about my feet, that it's killing me and everything.
And yeah, forgot to mention... We met Elton.
The guy was a gentleman. Shocking.
Yeah, then headed home.
Really tired.
So, I shall end it here.


xoxo

trace your steps

Today's been a long long day.
Omg, school's not even open for long and the amount of homework is piling up.
School has new "officials" which we (my friends and I) aren't familiar with. Duh.
We need to make huge huge adjustments and everything, which sucks.
I've got enough of adjusting myself and everything.

Anyway, today went through the rain. -.-
Cried. For some reason, pathetic.
Then went to lot1.
Applied for a job, and tell you people what...
Me, Stephen and Haikal are you guys' new and upcoming baristas. :)
Awesome? Capital V- Very!
I am going to work, so that I can shift my attention to other stuffs.
At least, I am not going to waste my time, idling and thinking about some impossible stuff.
I am trying every little thing for me to appreciate life more.
I bet I missed a lot of it. Two years, hello.
I need some real catching up. I give myself around 2weeks, perhaps I'm half done by then.
We'll see, we'll see..


xoxo
IWNGOYGOM

bad trip

Irritado.
Suck, what's up with me? Level of my endorphins seems to be going down.
I am irritated with everything, and I mean everything.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So close yet so far

Today's WEDNESDAY!
Lol, whatever.. It rained, it was sad. After that blah blah. Shaqdah didn't go for school. I kind of missed her. Kind of. :)

After all the classes and everything, I had a brilliant jamming session with Danial and Haikal.
It was so cool when the guys praised me for my voice. Lol.

Met Fitra, hung out and everything.
Though we didn't really did much extraordinary unforgettable stuff, I had fun.
We were sitting at the side of the lrt station like nobody's business.

My love for nobody by wondergirls has finally faded away.
How fast.
But I still do the dancing part.

Perhaps, that's it for today.


xoxo
DTE-guy, be mine?